My wish for you...

Merry

Everything

Happy

Always

This is a time of year filled with holidays.  Every human culture, throughout space and time, has found a way of celebrating the change of seasons, a change of heart, a turn in history.  In the US, as in much of the world, we are a pluralistic culture.  We have so many things to celebrate.

Hanukkah, Chalica, Kwanza, Yule, Solstice, Christmas, Mawlid Un Nabi, Yalda, New Years, these are just a few.

We diversely celebrate.  

We celebrate in our diversity.

Out of the many - One.

And yet, it's a hard time of year too.   It's these holidays that remind us of those who are missing.  Loved ones who have died, family who are estranged, friends who are far away, we feel our loss.  For those whose family of origin aren't safe or supportive, it is an especially hard time.  Our hearts ache for something that is gone, something perhaps we never even had.

In the end, we are all seeking the same thing; community, comfort in the darkness, the warmth of love, moments of peace, a touch of grace.  

This time of year....
regardless of your faith

Be Kind, 

Be Patient, 

Show Compassion

 I wish you all, all the best.
Always.

November Books

Dying for a Living, by Kory M. Shrum
Dying by the Hour
Dying for Her
Dying Light

So, ok.  I binged.  These were fun little reads, comparable perhaps to the Sookie Stackhouse novels.  This just goes to show that BookBub freebies work.  Now I've caught up with the author so I can't binge on these anymore.  Boo.

Yes, I read some other stuff.  Wish I remember what....

Summer/Fall Books though Nov.

Sigh... Missed some books and months.
Maybe I'll get back on the horse soon, maybe not.  I just haven't been reading much, nor keeping track of my reading.

But, for what it's worth, here's a bit of what I've read recently.

How to be a Woman, by Caitlin Moran
Neverhome, by Laird Hunt
Redeployment, by Phil Klay
Pride and Predjudice, by Jane Austen
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, by Caitlen Doughty
Kennedy Wives, by Amber Hunt and David Batcher
Twilight Tenth Anniversary (alternate), by Stephenie Meyer
Lean In, by Sheryl Sandberg


How to be a Woman is really, really good: funny, feminist.  Now I need to go find everything she's ever done.
Neverhome was good 2/3 of the way through when it took a turn for the weird, tragic, and depressing.  I should have skipped the ending.  (I'm a happy ending kind of gal, I don't need more reality or ironic tragedy.  Thank you.)
Redeployment is a collection of short stories, a bit uneven, but well worth the read.
P&P as good as ever, but I did have to check to be sure.  ;-P
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes was a little library find, and unexpectedly good.
Kennedy Wives was fine, reminds me that history has lots of stories we don't always explore.  At least, stories that I didn't explore since so much of this was before my time.
Twilight?  Not really any better re-imagined with a male in the lead role.  Ah well...

Lean In was a hard read for me.  I have not yet been able to articulate my response to this sort of feminism.  I'm still looking and waiting for the kind of feminism that doesn't require a looser. 
You can have the old patriarchy; women are for procreation not leadership and children need their mothers so they can't be spared for outside work. 
You can have the kind of feminism that was popular when I was being raised; telling women you can have it all, meanwhile the latchkey kids are the ones taking the hit. 
Then there's Lean In, which tells us that if we pick the right husband, make enough money, and find a good nanny, we can have it all - so cool - unless you're a poor woman, marry a schmuck, or accidentally hire a nasty childcare worker. 

Where is the feminism that makes sure the children have what they need, that men pull their weight, and where people (not just women) make family and childcare a priority?  (Last I heard it might be in the Nordic countries.)

See me going off on a tangent and blathering on?  That's why it's my blog.  

And aren't you glad you didn't have to listen to me while I read Lean In?

Bullsh*t

"Tough times don't last, Tough people do"

I can see why folks love that saying. It gives them hope that their troubles will end, and it makes them believe that they are the strong, the chosen "tough people".

Sunshine comes with shadows

But I hate that saying.

Because, for some people tough times do last. For some people they never, ever, end.

And what about those people who don't make it? ,

Guess they weren't tough enough, eh?  

Fuck that shit.

This strikes me as another kind of blame the victim game. In our western culture of individuality we credit ourselves with the power to change reality - and sometimes we can -ish. But a lot of times we can't. 

We just can't.

"Chin up" doesn't cure depression.

Eating clean and thinking good thoughts doesn't cure cancer.

Faith alone can't heal everything (or anything).

And failure to keep a positive attitude and faithful spirit do not cause illness, injury, or death.

Sunshine comes with shadows, sorrows with joy, and it's not your fault if some days it's just too hard.

So, yes, I support working towards a positive attitude - that can make things more bearable, and help you find joy even in troubles. 

But I also give you permission to hurt, sorrow, grieve.  The troubles are real.

You are not wrong or broken to feel less than tough today.

You are loved and held as a child of the universe, regardless of how tough your times are, how tough (or not) you are.

The Second Amendment

Amendment II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

I'm a reasonable person.  I'm not saying ban all firearms.  I'm not saying lock up everyone who might loose it and become violent.  

I'm saying, it's time to do some research.  It's time to publish the results.  Then it will be time to take action based on actual knowledge and data, rather than ideology and faith.

Recently the topic of mass shootings came up while some friends sat in a coffee house.  I was surprised to hear my friends resistant to the idea of gun control, even after the shooting at Umqua yesterday.  This is astounding to me.

In modern times the part of the amendment that seems to be the focus is "the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed".  Yet the beginning part, "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state" seems to be ignored.

What part of "well regulated" is unclear?  The weapons being used to commit these acts of mass violence are not part of a "well regulated" militia.  The Supreme Court has ruled that this right is not unlimited and does not prohibit regulation of fire arms or other weapons.  Why are we not moving forward on this?  Why are we actually forbidding the CDC to study this?

It's not about mental health care.  Sure, we need more there, but no amount of availability of treatment is going to prevent crazy.  Crazy happens, let's try to reduce the amount of access crazy has to automatic weapons, eh?  Then at least maybe if they go bonkers it'll be with something that kills fewer people a little less quickly.

If we're so worried about violating someone's second amendment rights, shouldn't we also be worried about other constitutional rights being violated?  What about the rights of the victims?  They were murdered.  Every single one of their constitutional rights, civil rights, human rights, were violated.

Where is their free speech?  Who speaks for them?

It is time.  It's time to change our culture.  It's time to change our laws.

Please write to your representatives and encourage them to support research into gun violence.
Find your US Representative here.
Fine your US Senator here. 
Find your State Representatives and Senators here.