October - December Books

• Gilead, by Marilynne Robinson
• The Man in the High Castle, by Philip K. Dick
• Beverly Right Here, by Kate DeCamillo
• Loitering with Intent, by Muriel Spark
• A Thrift Shop Murder, by N.M. Howell
• Garden Spells, by Sarah Addison Allen

Not enough reading these last few months. :-(

Gilead was a book group read, took me a little bit to get into it.  Written as if a letter to a grown son by an elderly father, by the end I was immersed.
Man in the High Castle is a SF classic that I had missed. I was prompted by an add for a new TV series by the same name.  Book is excellent.
Beverly Right Here is a YA novel, lovely, well done.
Loitering with Intent was enjoyable and had a few too true truths in it.  Loved some of the turns of phrase.  Bummed to find out this author is dead.  

A Thrift Shop Murder was a BookBub find.  It was a light read, fun, but not so much that I have run off to buy the rest of the series.  (But then I don't have time to read everything I already have so....)

Garden Spells was a sweet unexpected offering a FB friend recommended.  I loved the sisters stories.

June - September Books

• Wow.  I really lost it.  I keep these lists for me, not you, but man, past me is letting future me down.  Someday I'll read a book and think "That seems really familiar. Have I read it before?"  and I'll look here and not find it, and have no idea if it's because I didn't read that book or because I just didn't keep track.  Hmph.
• 
  
• Anyway, future me, here's what Oct. 2020 me remembers from all last summer and the beginning of this fall.  Sorry, 
• signed, 
• present me (past me to you)
• 
  
• looking at this list I think it can be safely gathered that I like books, books with cats, fantasy, and generally still need more time to read than I get.  
• personal notes:
  Genius was a good book, I knew Steven T. Seagle in passing (he was dating and ended up marrying a college roommate)
• I met Stephanie Tolan at a retreat this last summer, and it was knowing that I would that lead me to read her books.
• For years I've been on a listserve that Tamora Pierce is on, but it's only recently I started reading her work, my loss!
• I've known A.E. Wasp for years and our kids are friends, I got to beta read this book, it's a fun sweet story.
  
  Boys of Summer, by A.E. Wasp
  Self Published Kindling, by Mik Everett
  Welcome to the Arc, by Stephanie Tolan
  Flight of the Raven, by Stephanie Tolan
  Surviving the Applewhites, by Stephanie Tolan
  Mother Knows Best, by Serina Valentino
  Paris by the Book, by Liam Callanan
  Meow, by Skye Mackinnon
  Love, Lies, and Hocus Pocus, by Lydia Sherrer
  Gifted Touch, by Melinda Metz
• We Who are About to.., by Joanna Russ
• Crave, by Laura J. Burns and Melinda Metz
• The Human Division, by John Scalzi
• The Dispatcher, by John Scalzi
• Genius, by Steven T. Seagle & Teddy Kristiansen
• Trickster's Choice, Tamora Pierce
• Harley Merlin, Bella Forrest
• Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaimon
• American Gods, Neil Gaimon

Good job making things work

I had a really good day today.
I did good work.
I did not get paid, in fact, we're down money. 
I barely got recognition, and what I did will not be remembered.
I hardly got done anything I'd planned to do.
But, it was a good day.

I helped someone get some medicine.  I lifted a little chore that made 2 people's lives easier.  I walked with one friend and listened to her thoughts around a hard decision.  I walked with another friend, vented some of my frustrations, got some good ideas, and listened to her vent about her frustrations.  I practiced letting go.  Yesterday I was in a well justified snit, but it didn't make anything better and wasn't helpful so I'm still practicing letting go.
I accepted the chance to help an older adult learn to read.

I'm not exceptional.  I'm the norm.  This work I did?  There were others directly involved doing even more.  There always are others, doing what needs to be done, not because they get paid, but because it just needs to get done.  What do women do?  Get shit done.

This world runs on the unpaid, unacknowledged, and unappreciated labor of women.

Just thought you should know

Also, to all my women friends doing the good work every.single.day.

 I see you.

You're amazing.

It's definitely me this time

I'm am so sick of old white men who think they are the center of the fucking universe.

I'm also sick of women who belittle and disrespect other women.

But mostly it's old white men trying to propagate the patriarchy, especially as it relates to them.
How ever unconscious it is for them, it's fucking exhausting for me.



That's all.  Thank you for coming.

It it me?

I had a day.

You know those days where everyone around you seems like an idiot?  Maybe it's just me.
I've got a thing....
One idiot, probably is an idiot.  Five idiots in the same day, I start to think it's me.  I'm grumpy and impatient and need to put myself in a time out.  Actually, by the third idiot I'm usually sending myself home asap, so as to not injure anyone.

So recently I've been feeling ignored, shut out, pushed aside, shut down.  If it happened just once, I'd write it off.  Some one was having an off day, or I rubbed someone the wrong way, or I read the situation wrong.  But when it happens again and again, in more than one situation, with more than one person, over a series of days and situations, I start to think - maybe it's me.

Maybe I'm being particularly abrasive, or bossy. I heard that enough growing up to know - not everyone can take a full dose of me.  Maybe it's karma catching up with me.  Maybe I'm extra sensitive for some reason and reading things into it that aren't there.   Or maybe lots of people are short tempered and feeling sensitive themselves and I'm just handy.

Here's the thing - I have not had the experience of it being nothing when I sense something.  Whenever I get these feelings, something has been up.  The question is, is it something I need to do anything about?  Is it something external or internal to me?  I don't know yet.  Maybe there's something in the air, a general feeling of anxiety and fear, an itchiness just where you can't reach, a rock in our collective shoe.  Maybe I'm being a bitch on wheels and am oblivious.

Here's what I know is true, people have been acting unusually irritated around me. It's unpleasant and unexpected. 
I think I'm ready to not people for a while.