Find Joy. Seek Truth. Be Kind.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Your Child is More Important than Your Ideals.

Do you remember the story of Abraham and Isaac from the Bible? How Abraham was told by God to bring his beloved son to the top of a mountain and then offer him as a blood sacrifice to God? Thankfully, God took it back at the last moment. "Just testing you, Abraham!" Ya. That was close. Um... God? NOT FUNNY. What do you think Isaac and Abraham talked about on the way down that mountain? You think anyone told Sarah what Abraham almost did? That's what I thought.

See, if God told me to sacrifice my children, I think we'd be having a very long talk. If I was told that my children had to do anything that I believed was contrary to their best interest, I would do all in my power to defend them from that. And that includes things that other people don't seem to mind exposing their kids to, or expecting from their kids. I suppose it helps that I have have not only sensitive kids that let me know when their boundaries have been crossed, but have kids that are also stubborn (sorry, strong) enough to challenge those who cross them.

It doesn't really matter if you homeschool or send your kids to public school. It doesn't really matter what curriculum you use. It doesn't really matter what philosophy you follow. Your child is so much bigger than that. And you. You're so much bigger than that. Your job is to do what is best for your child, as best you can, with what you've got right now. If what you're doing isn't working - do something else. You can change your approach. You are not married to an ideal. I don't care if what you need to do doesn't fit into a school or a curriculum, an ideal or a religion. Do what you need to do, right now. Take care of your child.

There is no award for parenting. It'd be cool if there was. Wouldn't it be nice to be recognized for all the sweat and tears? Wouldn't it be amazing if you could be the BEST? But you can't.

You will get no acknowledgement for doing what you need to do, especially if what you need to do flies in the face of convention. But do it anyway. Your child is that important.


Sue VanHattum said...

Bless you.

I'm such a feminist, and had no patience with gender roles. But of course my son has all his life been in love with hot wheels cars. He is such a blessing in my life. I try to be a good enough mom.

April said...

It's hard isn't it? A good enough mom is an excellent mom!

Being a feminist doesn't mean "Hot wheels = bad" It means raising a son who knows that women are PEOPLE, who happen to have a vagina. :-)

Hey Sue, I get it. I seriously thought that I would raise gender neutral children. Being raised in the 70's I was taught that was possible. The universe, and my boys, have shown me I was wrong. I gave my boys a baby doll. She was loved, and cuddled, and was also a paratrooper baby - right over the 2nd floor railing. sigh.

I do believe that some behavior can't be programmed out. For my boys play fighting seems to be one of those things. Ugh. They are like puppies wrestling all the time. I try to be happy that they know the difference between play and the real thing. And I love them even when they make me crazy. It's what we do, right?

Sue VanHattum said...

I kind of like the wrestling. But then I only have one kid, so it only happens once in a while with his good friends.

My son had a baby doll and a stuffed animal that looked like a kid to me. But what he clutched in his hands as he fell asleep were bunches of hot wheels.

I'm glad he's not interested in gunfights. That's the one thing I'd have trouble with.

Right now, his best friends are both girls. They're both into very physical play. The more conventional girls are harder for him to deal with, I think.