Games for sanity, or at least a little fun

Pleasant distractions are welcome, especially in this time of pandemic when we are trapped inside with the same people, day after day after day.  A recent New York Times article touted the value and joy of table top games.  Which is great, and it recommended a couple of good games (Patchwork and Japir), but they left out some of our favorites. 
We have a lot of games, as I've posted before, so I'm here to correct add to their list.

Carcassonne
Quirkle
Century Spice Road
Pandemic the Cure
VivaJava
King Domino
Xenon
Bonanza
Dominion
Wits and Wagers
Codenames
Las Vegas Dice
Dixit
Anomia
Geistes Blitz
Hey That's My Fish!
Gobblet
Trambahn
San Juan
Citadels
Sheriff of Nottingham

and so many more....

So how to pick?  I'd want to know about who you've got stuck in your house with you.

Want to buy a gateway game?  Quirkle and/or Carcassone

Party game?  Anomia, Wits and Wagers, Dixit, or Codenames

Need something quick and easy to learn?
Quirkle, Las Vegas Dice, Wits and Wagers

Some pre-reader or not-yet-fluent readers?  Remember, just because a kid isn't reading, doesn't mean they can't clean the table with you.
 How about Quirkle, Hey That's My Fish, Dixit, Gobblet, Geistes Blitz, Las Vegas Dice, King Domino, or Carcassone

Only two of you?  Try Gobblet, Carcassone, Quirkle, Hey That's My Fish!, Trambahn, San Juan, ...

For more details on each game and suggestions and ideas for more games, check out BoardGameGeek

If you want to play virtually with friends there are a few resources to try, TableTop Simulator and Tabletopia are some I've heard of.

Got a specific question or need?  Ask me, and I'll offer an opinion.
Let me know what your favorites are.  (but don't say Monopoly, please)

Surviving adolescence (theirs)

14/15 is an .... interesting age for my boys.

Bit-Boy despised us for a while, in a pretty low-key way, especially after I had a talk with him about not challenging the silver-back.  At 20 he's back to thinking maybe his folks are ok.

Lego Kid, man, 15 was a killer for me.  He felt that I personally had ruined his life in every possible way, starting from birth until that very moment.  He also seems to have gotten over it (mostly),

And now, now it's Hot Dog's turn.  He's at the stage where he needs to be exactly opposite of whatever it is I am.  The other week he informed me that he is not a Unitarian Universalist.  I think I disappointed him, when as a good UU parent, I remained nonchalant.  His religion (or lack there of) is his business.  UU's think God is big enough to take it. Then a couple of nights ago he informed me that he will register as a Republican when it's time.  He looked defiant and hopeful.  When I agreed with the rational he shared, I disappointed him again.   I think he expected me to swoon, or swear, or something. (Imagining me making the sign of the cross and backing away from him fearfully perhaps?)

Then this afternoon on the way home from track practice...

I love that look of disgust on your teen's face when they realize that not only is Mom not shocked with your choice of music, but it is her jam.
And she can thrash, and will, while driving, you, in public.


Honey, I LIVED through the 80's.  Nothing you do is likely to shock or embarrass me.


You've got to

fight
for the right
to
par-tay!

Monopoly Sucks

Our family loves playing table top games.  I'm pretty sure we have a game for every occasion.  I honestly credit games with helping our family stay connected.

I learned early on, when my oldest was 12 and our first exchange student was with us, that teens have little to no interest in hanging with the family.  If I let him, our 17 year old exchange student would skip family activities at every opportunity.  After a couple of months, I learned not to let him.  As part of that we instituted Mandatory Family Game.  The traditions lives on, even now years after that student left our family.  Not only have I not regretted it, but now that they are older our former exchange sons and my oldest have said they were glad for the family time we've had.  So, you should play games not just because they're fun, not just because they're educational, but because they can literally help hold a family together.

Have I also mentioned that it's affordable?  While most games are quite affordable, some can cost as much as $50 or even more, but when you amortize it across the number of times it's played, and number of people who play it, it's cheaper than water.  Think about it.  How much does it cost to entertain your family?  For my family of 5 we're lucky to get a meal out for $40 (and that's at a fast food joint).  A movie?  That will set us back more than $50 just for the tickets, plus the cost of the requisite popcorn and soda. Now we're entertained for what,  2 hours?   A game can be played many times, by many people.   $50 bucks (most are cheaper) plus a bowl of popcorn can be not just one family game night, but many, for years to come.  Pennies for hours, years, of fun - and way cheaper than family therapy too.

You can tell we love games here.  Lots of different games.  Games of chance, strategy games, bluffing games, all sorts of games.  But, not all games.

For instance, Monopoly sucks, more than a vacuum.

There I said it.  I hate playing Monopoly.  It lasts F.O.R.E.V.E.R.  and it's boring, anddddddddddddddddd ugh.

So when a friend said her family had tried family game night and it always ended in a fight, and her husband didn't like to play games, I wasn't sympathetic the way a friend should be.  No, jerk that I am, I said "Then you're playing the wrong games.  What games are you playing?"  Because I'm that awful person who means well, thinks they can help, and doesn't wait to be asked their opinion.

The old standbys that most of us grew up gaming are... old.  Some are still great, but honestly there's a lot more out there than many folks know about.

For my friends with the bored husband and fighting kids I suggested Coup and Bang Dice.  Both are bluffing games, involving lying, killing, and winning by being the last one standing.  These games are fun for both adults and kids.  You don't need to be a great reader to play them. They work for 4 or more players.  We joke sarcastically about these games' great family values - but the kids not only love killing each other (and Mom and Dad), they seem to get along just a little bit better after working out some of their aggression in a game.

We probably have a game for just about any occasion, and a wide variety of player ages, numbers, and interest.  I love to review them for you, but I hardly know where to start.  Help me out?

What is your family like?  What are you looking for in a game?

If you let me know, I'll write up a post with some ideas that just might fit the bill.

So good to see you!

Let me tell you about Pieter, and the power of a joyful welcome.

Pieter joined our church choir while I was a well established soprano.   He was older than me.  That is, he was no longer middle aged, but he's spry, cheerful, and active, so it's hard to say "old", just older than me.  We were glad to have him, he has an excellent tenor, and gawd knows our church choir can always use more male voices.  (Of course, it would have been better if he had been a bass.  Who doesn't need more bass?  But we were glad to have him anyway.) Beyond his voice, he was engaged, reliable, and cheerful.  Every organization needs more people like that.

The thing about Pieter is that, inexplicably, he was always glad to see me.  Me. Personally.  Shortly after he joined he started to seek me out at the church social hour. (Social hour is like coffee hour, except inclusive of non-coffee drinkers too, 'cause that's how we roll).  Most people just say "hello" and smile, and that's nice, that's expected.  I'm cool with that.  When Pieter found me he didn't just say "Hi". 

Pieter would greet me with remarkable enthusiasm.  His whole face would light up with a big smile, he would open his arms wide, "April!  So good to see you!" and offer a hug.  He never forced a hug, just opened his arms to welcome one. 

The first time he did this I was actually a little startled.  I don't remember anyone ever being so glad to see me. (OK, maybe my dog.)  I remember thinking "What does he want?"  But he seemed safe and well intentioned, so I stepped in for that hug.  It was an excellent decision, because seeing Pieter at church has become something that never ceases to make me smile.  Nearly every time I saw him after that he repeated his sincere and energetic greeting. "Hello April!  So good to see you!"  Hug.  Sometimes he followed up with a compliment "What would our choir be with out you?"  or an inquiry "How's the family?"  He introduced me to his wife Mary Pat.  He started to tell me about his grandchildren.  I learned a little more about his life and history.  We started to become friends.

Although it doesn't seem like it's been that long, all this happened over the course of years.  I met Pieter while I was still in the church choir.  I dropped out of choir to do my year of cancer treatment in 2012, over 4 years ago, and I've never really gone back.  I can't reliably stay up that late and still drive home,  and too often the kids' school schedules things on choir night.  I miss choir, but not enough to miss my kids activities, or enough to stay up and drive home once a week so late.  We don't sing together anymore.  I only see him at church social hour.

But still, every time he sees me, Pieter still greets me like a long lost friend.  Which, now, he is.  His joyful greeting, open heart, and willingness to be vulnerable has given me not only his friendship, but that of his wife's.  I look forward to hearing about their holiday plans.  I worry when I see he's been sick or hurt.  I'm glad when he gets better.  I care about him.

I didn't, and still don't, understand why he started greeting me that way.  I liked Pieter well enough, but only knew him as a choir member.  He wasn't even in my section.  We'd never had a heart to heart.  For some reason, he just decided that he was always glad to see me.  Or, he acted as if he was always glad to see me, which, from my perspective, was exactly the same thing.   His repeated and sincere greeting created a friendship where there was none before.

I don't know if it was hard for Pieter to do that.  Did he have to think about being outgoing and engaging or did it just come naturally?  Was it even conscious?  Does it matter?

What magic.  What power.  What a gift he gave to me.

The Second Amendment

Amendment II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

I'm a reasonable person.  I'm not saying ban all firearms.  I'm not saying lock up everyone who might loose it and become violent.  

I'm saying, it's time to do some research.  It's time to publish the results.  Then it will be time to take action based on actual knowledge and data, rather than ideology and faith.

Recently the topic of mass shootings came up while some friends sat in a coffee house.  I was surprised to hear my friends resistant to the idea of gun control, even after the shooting at Umqua yesterday.  This is astounding to me.

In modern times the part of the amendment that seems to be the focus is "the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed".  Yet the beginning part, "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state" seems to be ignored.

What part of "well regulated" is unclear?  The weapons being used to commit these acts of mass violence are not part of a "well regulated" militia.  The Supreme Court has ruled that this right is not unlimited and does not prohibit regulation of fire arms or other weapons.  Why are we not moving forward on this?  Why are we actually forbidding the CDC to study this?

It's not about mental health care.  Sure, we need more there, but no amount of availability of treatment is going to prevent crazy.  Crazy happens, let's try to reduce the amount of access crazy has to automatic weapons, eh?  Then at least maybe if they go bonkers it'll be with something that kills fewer people a little less quickly.

If we're so worried about violating someone's second amendment rights, shouldn't we also be worried about other constitutional rights being violated?  What about the rights of the victims?  They were murdered.  Every single one of their constitutional rights, civil rights, human rights, were violated.

Where is their free speech?  Who speaks for them?

It is time.  It's time to change our culture.  It's time to change our laws.

Please write to your representatives and encourage them to support research into gun violence.
Find your US Representative here.
Fine your US Senator here. 
Find your State Representatives and Senators here.

Windy memories

This morning as the wind howls, I found myself in the most unusual position of having a wee bit of time to myself.  After doing a couple of chores and surfing Facebook, I checked on the blogs of a couple of favorite friends - and realized how very long it had been since we'd all hung out together.  I have happy memories of times at the river and parks, splashing, talking, laughing.  It wasn't really so long ago.

Friendships, and life, seem to go in phases.  You don't always know that you're in a phase, and often don't realize when you're leaving it, but in retrospect it can be very clear.  That time in my life with little babies and toddlers - gone.  Most of those friends have long moved on.  That space of time early in our homeschooling career when we found our local homeschooling group, hung out at the library and local parks, and had actual free time - faded away.  That sturdy time of solid homeschooling, when all three boys were close enough together to do pretty  much the same thing, when our schedule was our own to plan, when we had 2 other homeschooling families with kids about the same age who became as close as cousins to us, that's gone now too.

We're in a new stage, but I'm too close to really see the whole of it yet.  My 3 boys are going in different directions, all at once.   Bit Boy is a straight "A" high school/college student.  In the fall he'll be taking 16 credit hours.  While he isn't unkind to his brothers, he rarely has time for them.  Although he is helpful when asked, participates in the family when requested, he is very much independent now. (Well, except for needing rides everywhere...sigh...)  Lego Kid's voice keeps creeping lower as he campaigns to go to the last year of middle school starting next fall.  He still plays with Hot Dog, but less often and with less patience than before.  I can see he's getting his wings ready for some test flights.  Hot Dog has finally found a couple of things all his own (soccer and violin, especially soccer) and is still happy to homeschool.  I'm grateful for that, but I wonder how long it can last when his brothers are away in school all day.  His best bud has decided to go to school next year too.  With me needing to transport his brothers we won't be able to slip down to Denver or up to the mountains for all those fun field trips that are one of the huge benefits of homeschooling.  I would love to keep homeschooling him as long as possible, so I guess I'll need to find a new rhythm there too.

I notice deaths and births in our social circles.  In my own family now we are in a phase of looming deaths as my grandparents generation approaches their 90's and our own children are as yet too young for the rounds marriages and births to start.  That makes me all the more grateful when I see the babies of young friends in life, or even on the social networks. 

Melancholy - that's this morning.

Soccer Mom?

Well.  He went and did it.  Hot Dog (9yo) has made me a soccer mom. 

First, last fall he and Lego Kid begged for soccer, well after the start of the recreational season (of course).  I found a local class for beginners and signed them up for that instead.  That was enough for Lego Kid, but not for Hot Dog.  I got a "get out of jail free" card with winter.  Really, who can play soccer in the winter?  (Shush you 3 on 3 indoor players.  Gawd.  Look at me talking all soccer-y now.)

But, with spring upon us, I had no more excuses.  It was soccer season, and he really, really, REALLY wanted to play soccer - on a team, with other kids, and against other kids.  Lord have mercy.  I let him.  I signed him up, surprised at how affordable soccer is.  $95 for 2 practices and 1 game a week for 8 weeks.  That works out to just over $1/hr of soccer.  Wait.  That's 3x/week of soccer, for 8 weeks.  That's a lot of soccer I'll be driving to.  A lot of late dinners and early morning games.  (Somebody needs to saint me here)

Oh, and it's not so cheap as I thought.  It turns out that kids don't play shirts and skins, you need to buy a league jersey.  And a size 4 ball (we have a size 5, not good enough), and cleats (really?  Yes.), and soccer socks, to go over the soccer shin guards (well, those really are a good idea), and then of course Hot Dog really wanted special soccer shorts to go with it all.

He had his first practice last night and he LOVED it.  Hot Dog is incredibly fit, thin, and active.  Good thing, because not only is he tiny (at 9yo, size 8 is loose on him) but he has asthma.  Staying fit and keeping his lung capacity large will help him physically and mentally.

sigh.... so now he has jujitsu once a week, soccer 3x/wk, instrument lessons 2x/wk, and will have pottery 1x/wk for 5 weeks this spring.  I'm tired just reading that.

Remember when I said I would never be one of those parents who let their kids and family get over scheduled?  ya, it's some weird sort of cosmic justice.

Randomness

It's been a weird unsettling day.

We rushed to the car to go home tonight from an interrupted outdoor performance of "Midsummer's Night's Dream" which, until that point, had been excellent.  It was interrupted by a sudden rain and thunderstorm.  As we drove home I felt like I was in a video game, literally dodging fallen trees, barely able to see through the windshield.  It somehow felt like a fitting end to the day.

I'm tired.  Bone tired.  This morning Bit Boy and Hot Dog  were joined by a neighboring teen and they all helped me clear a side yard that had been ignored for the last two years.  We got it nearly all done in just two hours, and it was good hard work. 

I needed it.  When I'm troubled I need to move, work hard, and wear my body out.  I've been struggling to keep my chemo brain functioning, on track.  It's so hard for me to manage things that were trivial before.  I make lists, tuck notes in places where I'm sure to find them, but still, I miss things.  It felt good to have something concrete to do, and to get done even a small bit of work that piled up during my lost year.

It was good to focus on something outside my head.

Yesterday a good friend let me know her nephew had died.   What words do you give to a family who have lost a young life too soon?

Today another friend posted about the death of a friend's 15 year old.  A parent shouldn't have to bury their child, yet I know of too many who have. 

What does it mean, that a child dies?
And the rest of the world goes on?  

When something awful happens, a life changing diagnosis,  the death of a loved one, time stops.  There is a bubble of unrealness that surrounds that moment and separates it from everything else.  It's disorienting to look around notice that other people aren't noticing how, now, in this moment, everything has changed.  My heart breaks for those in the silent bubble of that isolation of loss and shock.
 
Today I went on.   I don't always know why I go on, but I'm glad  I can. 

In the eye of the beholder, or in the heart of the creator?

I have a confession to make.

I've been feeling sad that my oldest (almost 15 y.o.) seemed to have given up his art.  He used to draw all the time.  (Pretty good stuff too.  I'm totally not biased.)  He rarely puts pencil to paper these days.  These days he spend most of his free time on the computer.  I have to admit I am one of those moms who roll their eyes and wonder what will become of this generation of computer addicted kids.  (Writes me, from my lap top.  I know.  I know.)  The point is, I was sad because I though the computer was taking up time he could spend making "real" things.

But look:

Bit Boy "modeled" this using Blender a while back.

And last week he did this tea set:












And this self portrait, using a drawing pad (last year's Santa present), and GIMP.

 And then today this:














Which is the nicest Mother's Day card I could get, for, oh, so many reasons.

Tax Day / Snow Day

Remember that nice weather in January?  When the kids were out in their shirt sleeves playing in the sand box?

Well, here is today:

This is what happens when you live in Colorado.  You can golf in January, and go sledding in April. There is at least 5 inches and it's still coming down steadily.  Up to 8 inches is predicted over night tonight.  I had a long list of errands that really had to get done today, but Mother Nature had other plans. 

Time to bake some bread!

Welcome Home?

We've been home just over a month.
Can I just tell you how hard this last month or so has been?  H-A-R-D. 

I have been working, really working, to hold it all together.  I've tried not to be a whiner.  But it's time to just let it all hang out.  I'm going to list why this has been such a challenging time. 
You may not tell me I'm a whiner, you can just shut up and read. 
Or, click away from here, 'cause it ain't pretty.
You've been warned.

About 5 weeks into our trip Fire Lord got a call from a co-worker asking if he could borrow those clamps they'd talked about.  Fire Lord was game, but had to explain that we were, like, out of the country, on a boat, on, you know, the ocean, so the fellow would have to work it out with our house sitter.  With that settled the co-worker said something like "Well, I think you should be ok, I saw your name on an org chart, so you probably still have a job."
He didn't say this like it was a joke.  Turns out there was a lot of layoffs reorganization in Fire Lord's lab while we were gone.  By "reorganization" you can read the entire project was canceled and everyone redeployed or released from employment.  Luckily his supervisor was responsive to his rather alarmed humorous voice mail, and assured him that a job was waiting for him when he got back.

Just a week and a half before we came home we learned that my FIL's best friend had died.  She had been like a grandma to our boys, joining us for Sunday dinner and family holidays.  We got home on a Sunday, and attended her funeral the very next day.

We spent that first week home catching up on laundry and sleep, and spending some time with my SIL who had been staying with my FIL.  It was during this week that we agreed that my FIL would be moving in with us with in the next month.

The next week Firelord learned that the plum new job he had waiting for him was as a tech lead in field he hadn't worked in for 20 years.  Talk about a steep learning curve!

The rest of us stumbled around trying, without much success, to get back into our normal routine.  I had a series of medical appointments to go to, dealing with the after effects of cancer treatment and trying to tease out those symptoms from other issues.  It was spring break for our local schools so some of our regular lessons had been canceled, friends were out of town, and we just weren't getting much of anywhere.  Little did we realize that this week would be about as good as it gets for a while.

We learned on Thur. 3/28 that Fire Lord's father had died the day before.  We'd had him to Sunday dinner just a few days earlier, (like we did pretty much every Sunday).    He was 93, but we really truly believed that he would be with us another few years.  He'd been to the doctors for a check up just a couple weeks prior and the doc had said that he had the health of a man 10 or 15 years younger than he was.  We thought he'd move in with us this month.  As much as the death of a 93 year old can be unexpected, this was unexpected.

I have no words to tell you how this hit us, how shocked, surprised, sad, and guilty we felt.  The "if only"s came on hard and fast.  "If only we'd convinced him to move in with us sooner."  "If only he'd moved into a home" "If  only we'd stopped by to check on him more often" "If only he hadn't been alone"  So many "if only's".   The coroner's findings indicated that it was quick, and that there was nothing anyone could have done, even if they had been right there.  That doesn't seem to get rid of the "if only"s though.  There is little logic in emotion.

That weekend, while we planed my FIL's funeral, family started coming in.  Easter Sunday came, and Lego Kid's birthday came.  The week of the funeral one SIL and another BIL also had a birthday.  We had 14 people sleeping under our roof, plus more family put up in town.  It was amazing and wonderful to see the family again.  I loved that we got to have the little kids at our house.  But it was also crazy.  Anyone who has had a loved one die knows that feeling a funeral brings - feelings of family reunion and love, and sadness and loss.  It's crazy, and it's exhausting.

It's been a week now since the last of the family left town.  It seems like both more and less time.  Nothing is really settled yet.  Fire Lord has not only a new job to learn, but has to settle up his father's estate, and cover for me while I take care of medical stuff.  My kids lost their closest grandparents within a month of each other and we haven't settled into our homeschool rhythm.

It's just hard.  I know we'll get through this, we have wonderful friends here, and I do honestly have some of the best in-laws on the planet.  I know it could be so much worse.  But we are so very weary. 

Welcome home indeed.

Wishing for Grace

I find Christianity so very appealing.

I know now, today, why.

Today I am feeling so very guilty.  I want that lifted.  I want to take it back.  I want a do over.

Tonight Hot Dog pulled some attitude on me.  It's not new, it's been growing, especially recently.  This has been a hard week.  This last year has been hell.  He has not been getting the attention and direction he needs from his mom.  I fell down on the job.  Now it is a challenge to get us back to where we need to be.  It's hard on both of us.

So, when he pulled his attitude, I ignored it and kept on reading the story I started.  When I wouldn't do what he wanted he said "Then I might as well not have a story".  I told him I was sorry he felt that way.  I put away the book, moving on to the next bit of our bedtime ritual. He was beside himself.  "I take it back.  I'm sorry!"  I accepted his apology and told him we'd do better tomorrow, but that there would be no more story tonight.  "This can't be happening.  This is just a bad dream!"  He was frantic, bargaining with me, promising me everything he could think of to get what he wanted.  I know the feeling.  I wish I didn't.

I know that he wasn't really talking about the loss of his story this one night.  I think it was about the loss of his grandpa last week.  I think it was about his mom having cancer and cancer treatment last year.  It was about all the awful things that have happened that we can't take back, that we can't undo.

That's a very human feeling.  I wish I'd never had it.  I wish you hadn't, but I bet you have.  There are moments when you realize that something has changed, changed forever, and there is not. one. thing. you can do about it.  That moment when your innocence is stolen, you parents divorce, a parent dies, violence damages your body and spirit, a friend dies, illness forever changes your health, a child dies ...  Even worse are those moments you cause yourself, doing something that can not be undone, saying something you can never unsay, or worse, not saying what was in your heart, and then it's too late.

In those moments I've said "NO.  This is not happening.  This is just a bad dream.  I take it back.  I'm sorry.  I'll do anything.  Fix it! Change it back."

But it can't change back.  It never can.  It will never be the same.  There are somethings we can't change.  No amount of sorry or begging will fix it.

That's when I long for Christianity.  I long for forgiveness and Grace.  I can see the appeal of someone paying my penitence with the kind of pain I know I deserve.  I feel the desire for a way out, a path towards redemption.  I want to feel secure that it will all somehow, somewhere, sometime, work out and be better.

I've had a Jesuit priest tell me I'm a Christian, and a Baptist minister tell me I'm not.
I don't really care if I am a Christian or not.  I honestly don't think that if there is a god(dess) s/he will care what color my religion is or isn't.
I'll tell you what I do believe.

I believe that we don't get a do-over in this life.   We get one life, to live each day.  At the end we get our death.  The value of our life will be decided by the love we've given away and those who are able to pass it on.  If we want it to be better, we have to keep trying, in the here and now, to make it so.
We are human.  We will fail, but we must keep trying anyway.

I held Hot Dog while he cried.  I told him I loved him. We talked and I rocked him to sleep.  I did not read him his story.  I feel awful about that.  Yet, as a parent I know, he needs to learn -sometimes sorry can't fix it.  It's important to do our best to not have to be sorry.

When we are sorry, when it can't be fixed, it's good to have a shoulder to cry on and to know we are loved - human and fallible, and loved.

2012 Wrap Up

Hot Dog's version of "Bald Mama"

I wish I could do this year over.  I wish that I could have been healthy and involved for this last year of my children's lives.  My kiddos have not invented a time machine yet (although I'm told they're working on it).
I can't have this year back.
 So.
Thank God this year is over.
Sincerely.
Cancer treatment just sucks.

That aside, we also had some good times.  In spite of how I felt a good deal of the time, with the help of Firelord, friends, and family, we managed to get out and about.  It's was not as much as we would usually do, but still, much more than I would have expected. I'm writing this post to remind myself of those good times.

Bit Boy got braces - on and off - in 4 months.  We were all glad it was such a short treatment.

Bit Boy joined the Civil Air Patrol and earned his Eagles Wings, then decided that, as interested as he is in flying, the military bent was too much for his taste.  I was proud of him for sticking it out as long as he did and giving it a fair shot.

Firelord and Hot Dog in Geall

 We got to kayak and sail just a tiny bit at Boyd Lake and Horsetooth Reservoir.

Lego Kid and Hot Dog finally got their wish to go fishing.  We dragged Bit Boy, our near vegetarian, along.  Sadly he was the one who actually got a fish, much to his horror.
We were doing catch and release.  I promise the fish was fine.  Had Lego Kid been the one to catch it, we may have been eating sushi then and there, despite the lack of wasabi.

We got to foster some of the cutest kittens on the planet.  I'd have to go back and count but I'm pretty sure we've had more than 20 in just the last year.






We did lots of field trips
(many of which are worth doing again)
Celestial Seasonings
The U.S. Mint
Homeschool Day at Elich Gardens
Casa Bonita (might not need to do that again)
The Butterfly Pavilion
The Denver Zoo
2 different air shows - Warbirds Over the Rockies and the Wild West Air Fest
Yellowstone National Park
Harvest Farm Fall Festival
The DaVinci Machine Exhibit


This was the first year in a long time that I saw more performances than I was in.
Cirque du Soleil (Dralion w/ just Firelord, and Quidam w/ the kids)
Peter Pan
A Year with Frog and Toad

Winter Wishes Ice Show
A Musical Christmas Carol
Gift of the Magi




Yup, it was a hard year, but there were some very good times too.

Thanks to my family and friends, and especially Firelord, we got through it.

Here's to hoping for a healthy and happy 2013

Gift of the Magi

Last weekend we went to see the opera "Gift of the Magi" ( by composer David Conte)

I loved the orchestration. It was lush and it almost had lyrics of its own. The vocal parts didn't move me, I like a melody.  I guess I'm rather pedestrian that way.  What really knocked my socks off, though, was the plot.

WTF, you ask.   The plot?  Like, didn't you already know the story?  It's O'Henry for Pete's sake.  It's a classic.

Yes.  I knew the plot.  My mother told us the story when we were kids, and I've read it as an adult.  My mother always emphasized how the point of the story was that they had a love so great that they would sell their most precious items to give each other a Christmas gift.  She was all about the sacrifice for love.

I'm not completely sure if it was her retelling, or just how I understood it as a child, but I hated the story.  I mean, really hated it.  Della and James are spendthrifts with a communication problem.  If they had just talked about it they could have avoided the whole mess.  Also, I was fine with Della selling her hair.  It was a renewable resource.  Any woman who thinks her hair, or any other physical feature, is her most prized possession is going to be in a world of hurt someday anyway.  Selling a family heirloom was a shame.  Spending the proceeds on frivolous things like combs and a chain was just stupid.  I've been poor.  I've been hungry.  Believe me there are better things to spend your money on.

However, in this show I walked away understanding that the point of the story wasn't that they sold their most prized possessions for love.  It wasn't about the sacrifice.

The point of the story was that they forgave each other for being idiots.

That, my friends, is the secret to true love.

Steamboat delivers again.

Yesterday we toured the Tread of the Pioneers Museum, checked out the local Farmer's Market, ate at the Steamboat Smokehouse, and swam at the rec center.  The Tread of the Pioneers Museum is in a cool old Victorian house that is (mostly) decorated in period.  It has a lot of Steamboat history in it's rooms.  We had fun doing their scavenger hunt, and checking out all the old tools, instruments, and memorabilia.  Even though there was much complaining before we went, as we left all (voluntarily!) said they enjoyed it.  Lunch at the Smokehouse wasn't as big a hit with the kids as it was with Firelord and me, but that might have had something to do with the pretzels-as-big-astheir-heads they ate in the morning at the farmer's market.  The rec center was fun but, given the summer heat, the hot springs were almost too warm.  Almost.

Today we went to the Wild West Air Fest and splurged on a helicopter ride for the family.  It was a frivolous expense, but also totally worth it.  None of us have never ridden in a helicopter before, not even Firelord who has his pilots license.  The weather was perfect and it was fun seeing all the planes.

Now we are waiting for pizza delivery while Hot Dog and Lego Kid watch college football (BYU vs Washington State).  Sigh... how did I get kids that like to watch sports?

All in all, despite the sad news from home, it's been a very enjoyable little holiday. 

If Mama ain't happy...

... Ain't nobody happy.

You've heart that one, right?

Is it true at your house?

It's true at our house too.  Not in the "Mama's pissed and she's after your butt" way, but in the literal, if I'm not well, no one else is either way.

Seriously.
It seems absolutely impossible for my family to be happy and cheerful if I'm sick.

Ah, that seems kinda sweet, doesn't it?
NO.  It's not.
It's damned irritating, and sometimes totally dysfunctional, especially when Mom is truly very ill and needs everyone else to step up while she's down.

I noticed this before my diagnosis.  If I was low, the kids were low, and nothing got done.  If I was sick, you could bet the mortgage that at least one kid would spend the day complaining and asking "Do I have a fever?"  Before my diagnosis I chalked it up to my skewed perception when I was low or sick.  The family wasn't really taking on my symptoms, it just seemed like it to me because my view point was skewed while I was low or sick.  I was over sensitive.

But this last year I've had lots of opportunity to test the theory that every person in this house takes their physical and emotional cues from me and every single time it's tested, I'm right.  On the weeks I get chemo, suddenly everyone else feels a little off, queasy, tired, out of sorts.   What ever my physical or emotional malaise is, it is mirrored in my family.

When I don't do house work, it just doesn't get done, even if I lay on the couch and try to micromanage from there.  It just doesn't happen.  When I'm well and can pop up and say "Time to clean" the same micromanaging works just fine.  "Hot Dog - pick up all the nerf darts.  LegoKid put all the legos away.  Bit Boy, you vacuum."  If I'm on my feet and smiling, this all gets done with a minimal amount of griping.  If I'm down, it's like I'm speaking a different language.  If I'm too tired to do laundry, very little laundry gets done.  Yet, if I am well enough to start it and ask for help, suddenly - Boom - lots of hands helping and it's done.

The cure for this is  - what?  I know.  Don't get sick. Especially, don't get a life threatening illness that requires medical treatment that is also life threatening.  Stay cheerful no matter how you feel physically.  Don't let them see you sweat.

Uh.  No.  I can't do that.  Damn.  I wish I could.  But thems the breaks.  I'm going to be in, and recovering from, cancer treatment for a while yet.  I can't help but feel bad and tired sometimes.
I've talked with them about it, but only FireLord is really mature enough to see the pattern.  Even seeing the pattern isn't enough to change things.  So we'll just have to all muddle through together.  Hopefully at some point soonish I'll be getting stronger and be able to be more consistent in my energy and health.  Until then, well, don't look to closely at the dust bunnies, eh?

Yellowstone!

Whee!  We just got back from a fabulous road trip to Yellowstone.  We met up with family, a cousin and her kids that stair step in with my younger two. It was planned, and reservations made, well before my cancer diagnosis, and I'm so glad we got to go, slipping this trip in between chemo treatments.
Here was something that I remembered from my first trip to Yellowstone - Bison always have right of way.

Yellowstone is a magical place to me. I've been there at least 3 times before this, and each time is different and special.  I was looking forward to seeing it through my kid's eyes, but mostly they were full of excitement and sillies because they got to meet up with some favorite cousins.  It's wild beauty was a bit lost on them.  :-D

Old Faithful just after noon

When you go to Yellowstone you will see a lot of this-  crowds around the most popular sites.  You'll have to put up with typical tourist behavior, but it's worth it to see things that just don't exist anywhere else in the world.   Don't miss the famous spots just to avoid the crowds, just get up early.

With just a little effort you find treasures that will make it your own special place.  My cousin did a little hunting and found a place where a hot river met a cold river and made a warm bathing spot.  Although this "hidden" gem was one we had to share with many other people, it was one of the highlights of our trip.






And if you are willing to just walk for 10 or 15 minutes on a well beaten trail, you can suddenly find yourself all alone, with not a soul in sight, surrounded by wild flowers, and the big blue Wyoming sky topping the vast horizon.

Of course, if you venture on to the less traveled paths, you have to be willing to deal with what you find there.  On this walk it was a couple of male bison on either side of the path on our return.  Despite one teen's great desire to get up close and personal with said bison, and much discussion on how one should best retreat from a charging bison, we discreetly choose a different path back to our car. 

 

The Bison on the path not taken

Happy Solstice!

Wow, I was just looking at all the blog posts I've started and not finished. It's been that kind of month. It's a time for changes and growth, all the while I feel like hibernating.

Bit Boy is considering going part time to public school 8th grade next semester. (This is HUGE, and one of the many posts I haven't finished is about this.) Our exchange student from last year is coming to dinner this week with the local girl who has apparently stolen his heart. The Lego Kid is starting to be more independent than I have ever hoped for, and is also keen to start his new business venture. Hot Dog has actually been quiet for an hour straight. (This probably has something do to with the new audio player he got for his birthday.) My father-in-law is declining faster than we had expected, although having expectations of a person in his 90's is probably silly.

And now a certain 7 yo is reminding me why I haven't finished anything this month...