Find Joy. Seek Truth. Be Kind.

Monday, October 26, 2015


"Tough times don't last, Tough people do"

I can see why folks love that saying. It gives them hope that their troubles will end, and it makes them believe that they are the strong, the chosen "tough people".

Sunshine comes with shadows
But I hate that saying.

Because, for some people tough times do last. For some people they never, ever, end.
And what about those people who don't make it? ,
Guess they weren't tough enough, eh?  
Fuck that shit.

This strikes me as another kind of blame the victim game. In our western culture of individuality we credit ourselves with the power to change reality - and sometimes we can -ish. But a lot of times we can't. 
We just can't.

"Chin up" doesn't cure depression.
Eating clean and thinking good thoughts doesn't cure cancer.
Faith alone can't heal everything (or anything).
And failure to keep a positive attitude and faithful spirit do not cause illness, injury, or death.

Sunshine comes with shadows, sorrows with joy, and it's not your fault if some days it's just too hard.

So, yes, I support working towards a positive attitude - that can make things more bearable, and help you find joy even in troubles. 
But I also give you permission to hurt, sorrow, grieve.  The troubles are real.
You are not wrong or broken to feel less than tough today.
You are loved and held as a child of the universe, regardless of how tough your times are, how tough (or not) you are.

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