Some friends have asked me to post about how to help, what to say, or what not to say, when a loved one or friend has cancer. Honestly I don't have all the answers. The truth is if it is someone you know, and who knows and trusts you, you can probably speak from your heart, and all will be well.
Most of us don't speak from our heart though.
That feels too vulnerable. We say what we think we should say, or we
don't think at all and say the first thing that comes to our mind.
Ouch. I've done that, and to any and all I've hurt, I apologize. Like
so many, I meant well, I just didn't know what to do. As I hope to be
forgiven for my gaffs, I try to forgive others for theirs. There's only
been a few mean spirited things said/done to me. Most folks mean well
and I'm just extra sensitive when I'm low. I try to remember that and
just let it flow past me.
But, for those who want to read on, I recommend these posts from City Girl, who's BTDT.
Helping a Loved One During a Health Crisis
You Look Great (or not)
Cancer Buddy vs Cancer Bully
Video Cancer Buddy vs Cancer Bully