Find Joy. Seek Truth. Be Kind.

Sunday, October 4, 2020

Freeloaders

 



Freeloaders kinda bug me.



I suppose to have a discussion about freeloaders you'd first have to define your terms, and "freeloader" is a pretty loaded term.  A quick internet seach turns up this

free·load·er
/ˈfrēˌlōdər/
noun
INFORMALDEROGATORY
  1. a person who takes advantage of others' generosity without giving anything in return.

 That works for me.  

Let's talk about who is not a freeloader.
I think we can all agree that while babies might meet the technical definition of the term, babies are not freeloaders.  Babies are wee humans who need us, who will learn, and grow, and are cherished members of our family.  Elders in care facilities might seem to meet that definition, but again, these are cherished members of our families and whose lives have contributed to our collective wellbeing. 
What about people who use social services like Medicaid, Medicare, SNAP, etc?  Nope, not freeloaders either.  These people are making use of public services that were created to support people in need.  Nearly every person who use these services are either adults who have worked and paid into these services, or are minors.  These services have been created to better conditions for all of us individually as well as our nation collectively.
Children attending public school?  Nope, not free loaders, citizens using a system we have decided benefits not just them but all of us.  An educated citizenry is better than an ignorant one.
Veterans using VA benefits?  Quite the opposite, there will never be enough to pay back what they have given to all of us.
You get the picture.

Let's talk about who is a freeloader.
That friend who "lets" you by his drink every single time, and never remembers his wallet when it's time to pay for dinner.  That one uncle who borrowed your car, crashed it, barely told you about it, never compensated you, and never brought up the subject again.  The friend who borrowed your treasured copy of The Hobbit, never returned it, and claims to have forgotten all about it... ya those folks are free loaders.

Who are freeloaders? 
 People who cheat on their taxes. 
Corporations that use our roads to ship their goods, hire citizens educated in our public schools,  then pay those workers so little that even a full time worker needs welfare to get by, and then use every loophole to pay as little tax as possible.
Millionaires and billionaires who got rich using our resources and our labor then pay off politicians to write laws that favor them even more. 
Politicians who get government paid benefits for life after making laws that they and their handlers will profit from.
A millionaire president who has paid $750 annual tax while signing orders that harm his own people - those are the freeloaders.

And I'm sick of it.

The only way our system works is if we all participate, accept our own responsibility, and meet our obligations.  A good citizen pays their taxes.  A good citizen votes.  Every single time.  
It's literally a basic obligation of being an adult part of our society.

VOTE



Tuesday, September 22, 2020

It's Just for Now

 I talked to a friend today.  She was trying to find the right educational place for her crazy bright 7yo.  She and her partner each work full time at jobs they both want and need.  Oh ya, and there's a pandemic on, and wild fires, and smoke, and a heated election, and protests, and and and and....  On-line school, even at a progressive public charter school, is not working for this kid.  (the busy work alone would be enough to make the kid crazy, but sitting still in front of a computer for that long?!? nope.)  They've got an interview for an in person private school 20 minutes from their house, if their virus protocols seem safe, should they enroll their kid?

I don't know the right answer.  All I could do was ask questions.  

How does it feel right now?  If  you were to enroll at the private school how would that be?  The commute?  The cost?  If you leave the public charter school could you get back in later?  What is your child telling you about what they're experiencing and thinking about their school?  If you chose to homeschool how would that feel?  How would it work?  How could you work?  What would your child do while you're working?

In normal times I might talk about how much social interaction their child needed, but it's not normal times, and none of us are able to get "normal" social interaction.  Even if schools are in person the safety protocols mean that kids can't play together they way they use to, so any concerns about socialization will have to be set aside for now.

For now the question is - what do the parents need to be functional, sane and safe?  What does the child need to learn, be safe  and sane?  Where those things intersect, do that.

Whatever parents decide to do right now?  It's fine.  Short of beating the children, do what you need to do to get by.  Keep your kids as safe as is reasonably possible in the midst of this maddness, but do it while taking care of yourself.  You matter, your health, safety, sanity, they matter, just as much as your kids.

Whatever you do, remember - it's only for now.  It will change.  In a year things will be different, and we don't know what kind of different.  We're all going to have to be flexible and resilient, ready to try new things, and to switch and try something different when that doesn't work.

Do what works.  If it doesn't work, try something else.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

It's only for now.

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Jan - July Books !?!

  • So, something must have distracted me this winter/spring/summer.... what could it have been?

So, I'm sure I've missed some books :-(


  • A Man Without a Country, by Kurt Vonnegut
  • The Luster of Lost Things, by Sophie Chen Keller
  • The Last Wish, by Andrzej Sapkowski
  • Circe, by Madeline Miller
  • Columbus Day (Expeditionary Force book 1), by Craig Alanson
Mort, by Terry Pratchett
Reaper Man, by Terry Pratchett
All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes, by Maya Angelou
It Can't Happen Here, by Sinclair Lewis
How to be an Antiracist, by Ibram X Kendi

Thursday, July 30, 2020

Comedy Needed

I don't know about you but I need some humor in my life.

I made the mistake of listening to NPR as I did a lot of driving yesterday.  Don't get me wrong, I love me some NPR, but the news is more than I can take sometimes.

So I posted a request for comedy movies on FB, and my friends came through. (because my friends are AWESOME like that)

Back at the beginning of the pandemic Hot Dog started us on a Marvel movie marathon, then we did a Harry Potter marathon, then some stuff I didn't remember (edit to note at least some of it was 007 movies, and Bridge over the River Kwai),... right now we're three seasons in to Parks and Rec, which is a lovely show, but I'm ready for a break.  So I'm going to suggest a comedy movie marathon, and hope that since friends recommended them rather than me, Hot Dog will go a long with it.

So, with no further ado, in no order, and probably with some repeats, here are recommendations from my friends.  If you see something missing, let me know in the comments!!

Monty Python
Princess Bride
Young Frankenstein
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Some Like it Hot
Dr. Strangelove
Airplane!
The Producers
Groundhog Day
Waiting for Guffman
Bringing up Baby
Any Chaplin film
Safety Last
The General
Steamboat Bill Jr.
Pee Wee's Big Adventure
In Bruges
Top Secret
Stripes
Galaxy Quest
The In-laws
The Lavender Hill Mob
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Clueless
Its a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Mr. Roberts
All About Eve
Being There
Heaven Can Wait
Office Space
What We Do in the Shadows
O Brother Where Art Thou
Raising Arizona
The Lady Eve
Little Shop of Horrors
Shaun of the Dead
The Lady Eve
Ninotchka
The Shop Around the Corner
Harvey
Arsenic and Old Lace
Naked Gun
The Thin Man (multiple movies in this series)
Roman Holiday
The Apartment
Trouble in Paradise
Top Hat
Singin in the Rain
Hot Fuzz
The Muppet Movie
Moonrise Kingdom
Flirting with Disaster
Sabrina
His Girl Friday
The Philadelphia Story
Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House
Superbad
Romancing the Stone
Adam's Rib
Miracle of Morgan's Creek
Spinal Tap
A Fish Called Wanda
Team America: World Police
Foul Play
Silver Streak
How to Steal a Million
Batman the Movie
Funny Farm
Amelie
Idiocracy
Planes Trains and Automobiles
Some like it Hot  (Marilyn Monroe)
Paris When it Sizzles (Audry Hepburn)
Love Birds
Palm Springs 
The Bird Cage
City Slickers
Shanghai Knights
It’s Complicated
Mr. Bean (movie series)
Young Frankenstein
Office Space
Space Balls
Harold and Maude
Waitress
Holy Grail
Amelie
Roberto Bernini (not sure of spelling)
Il Monstro 
Johnny Toothpick (Italian comedies)
Best in Show
Mediterranio (also not sure of spelling- Italian Fascisists occupying a Greek Island), Babette’s Feast (also falls into food porn genre)
Pink Panther movies
Mr Bean shows
all Monty Python
Outrageous Fortune
When Harry met Sally
Scott Pilgrim vs the World
RED (with Bruce Willis)
Tintin
The African Queen
Mastermind
The Incredibles
Pirates of the Caribbean
Something About Mary
A Fish called Wanda
Best In Show
Spinal Tap
Galaxy Quest
Eurovision (movie, new on Netflix)
It Happened One Night
Gunless
Second Hand Lions
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Date Night
Hero (with Dustin Hoffman)
The Philadelphia Story
Trading Places
Big
Local Hero
The Holiday
Elf
My Man Godfrey
Son of Paleface
How to Marry a Millionaire
Ghostbusters
The Emperor's New Groove
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Best in Show
School of Rock
Kung Fu Panda
Rush Hour
Midnight Run
Silver Streak
Blues Brothers
Beetlejuice
Deadpool
Guardians of the Galaxy
Tucker and Dale vs Evil
Better off Dead
True Lies
Benny & Joon
Waking Ned Devine
Spy
The Fabulous Mr Fox
About Time
 Blast from the Past
Bedazzled
A Fish Called Wanda
The African Queen
Second Hand Lions
Groundhog Day
Big Fish 
What we do in the Shadows
Spies like Us
Long Shot
A Simple Wedding
Dioni and Devine Meet the Apocalypse
Bandits
The Secret of Walter Mitty (Ben Stiller)
Liar Liar
Water Boy 
Cable Guy

Series


Life in Pieces (Amazon Prime
Barry (dark comedy, HBO)
FX TV


Performers:
Anything with Tim Conway
Stephen Wright
The Amazing Jonathan


Not comedy but recommended
Greyhound (Tom Hanks)

train to Busan  (Korean)

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Past me vs Present and Future me

Does anyone else have time laden conversations with themselves?

Like Present me is grateful to Past me for taking pictures of the garden, especially the iris in bloom so I know what colors they are when I'm separating them. 
But Present me is also somewhat irked because Past me planned to organize the photos such that Future me could easily see what was where without having to search through years of photos. 
Past me was also going to make beautiful photo albums for each of the children when they turned 18.  Or 21.  Or 22.  But Past me has not been as helpful as she intended. 
Present me would like to do better for Future me, but Present me is also already talking to Future me about exactly when would we have the time for that kind of bullshit?  It's a nice idea and all, but I don't see you doing it either bitch, so cut the complaining already.

Also, pouring through the photos makes Present me jealous of Past me, who got to travel and take lots of fun camping trips.  Present me wants to do that, but thinks that being a thoughtful adult means that would be a stupid and irresponsible action right now.  Present me hopes Future me appreciates our sacrifice.

Ya, so that's a tiny bit of what it's like to live in my head.

These smell like purple kool-aid!




this exists somewhere in the yard, good luck figuring out where




Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Games for sanity, or at least a little fun


Pleasant distractions are welcome, especially in this time of pandemic when we are trapped inside with the same people, day after day after day.  A recent New York Times article touted the value and joy of table top games.  Which is great, and it recommended a couple of good games (Patchwork and Japir), but they left out some of our favorites. 
We have a lot of games, as I've posted before, so I'm here to correct add to their list.





















Carcassonne
Quirkle
Century Spice Road
Pandemic the Cure
VivaJava
King Domino
Xenon
Bonanza
Dominion
Wits and Wagers
Codenames
Las Vegas Dice
Dixit
Anomia
Geistes Blitz
Hey That's My Fish!
Gobblet
Trambahn
San Juan
Citadels
Sheriff of Nottingham

and so many more....

So how to pick?  I'd want to know about who you've got stuck in your house with you.

Want to buy a gateway game?  Quirkle and/or Carcassone

Party game?  Anomia, Wits and Wagers, Dixit, or Codenames

Need something quick and easy to learn?
Quirkle, Las Vegas Dice, Wits and Wagers

Some pre-reader or not-yet-fluent readers?  Remember, just because a kid isn't reading, doesn't mean they can't clean the table with you.
 How about Quirkle, Hey That's My Fish, Dixit, Gobblet, Geistes Blitz, Las Vegas Dice, King Domino, or Carcassone

Only two of you?  Try Gobblet, Carcassone, Quirkle, Hey That's My Fish!, Trambahn, San Juan, ...

For more details on each game and suggestions and ideas for more games, check out BoardGameGeek

If you want to play virtually with friends there are a few resources to try, TableTop Simulator and Tabletopia are some I've heard of.

Got a specific question or need?  Ask me, and I'll offer an opinion.
Let me know what your favorites are.  (but don't say Monopoly, please)



















Friday, March 27, 2020

Universal Slack

I want to introduce you to a most useful concept

Granting Universal Slack

I just got off the phone with Janice, who had to tell me that a surgery for our big rescue dog had to again be rescheduled to some date that is not yet known.  I said of course, and that I hoped she was staying well in these crazy days.  She almost cried, and said "Thank you for making this easy" - because other folks had been making it hard.

So, don't be that person.  Don't make it harder for anyone else right now.  Things kinda suck at the moment.  They just do.  It's hard enough, grant folks some slack.  Grant Universal Slack, to everyone.  Including yourself. 

Universal slack means acting with patience regardless of how you're feeling.  It means remembering that nothing about the current state of affairs is anything like normal, for anyone, and we're all just doing the best we can.  Universal slack means granting it to someone who isn't ready to reciprocate.
It means remembering that what is really important is how we treat each other, and that real character is shown when things aren't going your way.  And it's ok to screw up, just try again.  and again.

We're going to figure this out together, somehow.  Somehow, some day, we'll be on the other side of all of this mess.  What we'll remember is how we stood together, how we treated each other.

So cut each other some slack, ok?

I love you enough to share some cuteness
Here's a picture of two of our foster kittens


and our eighty pound rescue dog who won't be having surgery anytime soon



Saturday, March 21, 2020

Make bad art



The act of imagination is an act of survival

To learn is human
To engineer is human
To create is human

Create because it feels good, not because the product is good, but because the process is.  It fufills a basic human drive to effect change, create, express.  It's good to feel good. But, if you need an excuse, make art because making art is good for us, like vegetables and exercise level good.

Remember when you were little?  You'd make something and not know that it was "bad"?  Mud pies were real.  You'd draw a picture and it was so satisfying, no, it didn't look like what you'd intended, but it felt good to do it, you liked the colors, the shape, the way it felt.  You'd hear a song, it gave you shivers, and then maybe you'd sing it, with no thought to if you were "good".

Then, probably, somewhere, you got feed back that didn't feel so good.  You handed someone a picture and the tone when they asked "what is this?" stung. Or your fourth grade music teacher told you to just mouth the words instead of singing. 

When I was a little kid I would sing, all the time.  Real songs I'd heard (or mis-heard), songs I made up, pretty random, but to me it made sense.  It was comforting.  Some time in 6th grade I learned that maybe this wasn't socially acceptable. (ya, late bloomer here)
[I think it was when I got peeved with a friend on the play ground and loudly sang at her "Anything you can I can do better, I can do anything better than you!"  You get a certain sort of rep when you do shit like that.]

Even as a teen my brother and I would play a game where we would only respond to each other with snippets of song.  Huh.  Firelord and I found ourselves doing that when the full implications of COVID19 started to hit us.  "It's the end of the world as we know it" "We didn't start the fire, 'cause the worlds been burning since the world's been turning" "Staying alive, staying alive"
So, ya, I guess I haven't really outgrown it.  It feels good.

There's research out there that shows that art is good for you. 
Making art is good for you.  The  objective quality of your work is irrelevant. 
Play.
Make art because it feels good. 
Call it a mediation if you need an excuse. 
Do it to stay sane. 
Do it to model for your kids and community this oh-so-valuable survival mechanism.

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

learn anything, go anywhere - virtually

I am one of those awful people who leaves stuff out so I can see it and be reminded to deal with it.  It's a mess, but it mostly works for me.
I do the same thing with tabs on my browser, but when I opened my computer this morning and realized that I had 52 tabs open, I knew I needed to do something.  Even I have my limits.

Here it is, a list of some of the resources I've found in the last couple of days for keeping a kid busy at home.  I was going to sort it all out in, write several {absolutely brilliant} blog posts with specific topics and ages in mind.  But, fuck it.  I don't have time and I'm moving on.

So here's a brain dump, I hope you have some fun poking around.  Oh, and check out your local library's website.  They'll almost certainly have many resources there like Kanopy, Hoopla, Overdrive, Flipster and Mango

Remember that this is not all about your kids.  It's about you too.  You never know, you might find something of interest here for you too.


Open Culture lists free and education media on the web

PBS listed 19 museums you can visit from home
Paris Musees has thousands of images you can access for free
Broadway shows you can access from home
list of virtual field trips
Adventure Journal has a list of live feeds of animals
U.S. National Parks virtual tours via Googles Hidden Worlds of the National Parks
Geoguesser is a fun geography game G
List of other Google maps games

50 birds and the sounds they make
The NYPL is offering an app that lends e-books for free

There are many free courses on line
Crash Course has some really amazing/fun/wonderful educational classes/videos
Disney Imagineering in a Box
Ivy League Courses on line for free
Coursera also has many free on-line classes
the Khan acadamy has free on-line educational classes and videos
Doodle with Mo, lunch art for kids on the Kennedy Center's youtube channel

Giant list of ideas for being home with kids
Here's a website of Virtual School Activities, virtual tours of museums and zoos around the world.
Amazing Educational Resources is a website of crowd shared found resources
Engineering ideas for kids to try at home
another crowd sourced list of ideas

Netflix has tons of documentaries and educational videos (hint, anything w/ David Attenbough is excellent)  Also, I just learned that you can do a Netflix party!

And finally, if your school is going to make your kid to school at home, you might find this helplful -the  Parents guide to Google Classroom