We all get free together

We're not free until we're all free.  We all get free together.

You know how sometimes you see things in your media stream, and the seemingly random juxtaposition suddenly refocuses something and then you see relationships where you didn't before?

Ya.  That.

There's this, and this article about improving education.


We're not free until we're all free.  We all get free together.

Then there was this article followed by a discussion about "identity politics" and a facebook comment from an amazing intelligent young man I really respect about how "identity politics" is going to bring down the Democratic party.  In my experience, all politics is identity politics.  It's just white-identity-politics is called "politics".  The white experience is considered the norm, so anything else is dismissed as "identity politics".

We're not free until we're all free.  We all get free together.

Then I remembered a story about OXO good grips I heard on NPR.  OXO products were designed for people with arthritis, but it turned out that a really good design was better for a lot of people.

We're not free until we're all free.  We all get free together.

Designing a good product, a good system, or a good policy, takes a lot of work.  It takes time and energy.  It's so  tempting to say "good enough", we got the worst of it, dust our hands and call it done.  So tempting.  I get it, we're tired.  I'm tired.

But the extra effort to really make it better for everyone, to make it equitable and not just convenient, not even just equal, but truly equitable, it does make it better for everyone.  Even those who didn't expect to benefit from it do.

We're not free until we're all free.  We all get free, together.

Econ101

This morning at the breakfast table we were talking about economics and capitalism.  Yes.  I know.  We're nerds.  But, since FireLord has been busy teaching full time at the maker space summer camp, it was the first breakfast we'd been able to have together for a week.
And somehow that makes it... normal?  Normal for us anyway.

Anyway. set scene:  Hot Dog, Lego Kid, FireLord, and I  - eating waffles, talking over the Wall Street Journal.

Economics.  Capitalism.
What works and what doesn't.
The conclusion we came to is that capitalism isn't great, it creates winners and losers, the risks aren't born equally, and it's easily corrupted.  BUT, it works better than anything else we've figured out, especially when you're dealing with huge numbers of people, IF there are certain checks and balances put into place.

It works when you have rule of law, a fair and functional judicial system, non-corrupt and unbiased law enforcement, and controls on monopolistic practices.  It works when workers are truly free agents, able to make choices about what work they're willing to do for what price.  It works when there is one-vote one-person and your voice actually matters.  (Yes, I'm aware we're mixing up governance w/ economics and that they're different, but they're intertwined in this country, and I'm not a f'n PhD)

It doesn't work when the laws are applied (or not) in arbitrary, capricious, and or biased ways.  It doesn't work when those in positions of power are able to use their power for personal gain, to avoid the consequences of their actions, and/or to abuse and take advantage of others.  It doesn't work when companies become "too big to fail".  It doesn't work when companies create cartels to control supply and cost of goods.  It doesn't work when companies don't bear the true cost of production.  It doesn't work when people aren't free agents, when they can't move jobs for improved pay/conditions/benefits.  It doesn't work when a corporation counts as a person, when an individuals vote doesn't matter.  It doesn't work when people feel like there is no chance to improve their situations.

For capitalism to work we need things like police, the judicial system, laws protecting competition (anti-monopoly).  This need for balance is why there are some things that we all pitch in for when competition doesn't work, things like schools, utilities, commodities, etc. 

When the system is unbalanced, when people stop trusting the system, when there is a huge difference between the haves and the have-nots, things can get ugly. 

There's always going to be tension between a laissez faire market and regulations.  The pendulum swings back and forth, not in a reaction to what's happening but in a reaction to what happened in the recent past (or what was perceived to have happened).  But if it swings to far, we will all suffer, one way or the other.

What's my problem?

This last year I've been playing a new game.  It's fun, enlightening, and helps me set better boundaries.  I've shared with a few others and, in addition to laughs, I get fairly positive feedback about the game and it's usefulness.
So, in the hopes that it might be useful to someone else, here's my new-ish game.

What's my problem?

When someone approaches me with a complaint or anger, or I start to feel angry, threatened or defensive, I ask myself "What's my problem?"
Nine times out of ten, whatever they're talking about is not my problem.

It's like magic!  What's my problem?  Not this.
Their response to a situation is NOT MY PROBLEM.
Their emotions are NOT MY PROBLEM.
My behavior, my actions and reactions - definitely my problem.

A slightly less helpful game is
"What's your problem?"
Pretty much the same game, but asking someone else to play, which has shown itself to be problematic. Huh.

Try it and let me know what you think.

New things and old things

New: Soccer

So I did something that might turn out to be as dumb as that time a couple of spring breaks ago when I went mountain biking for spring break with the kids.  I joined a co-ed soccer team.

I've never played soccer.  Although, I was mistaken when I told my team last Thur at our first game, that it was the very first time I had ever played.  I remembered later that for Hot Dog's first soccer team, at the end of the season, there was a kids vs parents scrimmage I was on the field for. 

It turns out, not surprisingly, I kinda suck at soccer.  Also, I'm old, fat, menopausal, out of shape, have osteoporosis, and generally am better at laying on a couch reading a book than anything involving sports ball.

That said, despite our team loosing 13-0, only playing the first half, being not only wiped after that, but flat on my back the next day, I had a great time!   I liked it.  Mostly what I did was get in the way of the opposition as they tried to approach our goal.  Turns out I can do that, at least for a while.  I want to get better at actually moving the ball around.  Maybe, if I keep going, I'll even be not completely wiped after less than an hour of play.  But for now, I'm pretty happy to have had a good time and be on a team where not a single soul mentioned how I was the worst player, but rather a couple of team mates pointed out things I did right.  They're good people.

As a team member said "I'm glad you're doing something that is a stretch for you"

Old/New: Trip to Indiana to see family:
The very week after Hot Dogs school let out we drove to Indiana to stay at a house on a lake and visit with family near there.  It was lovely to see them again, they might not all like each other perfectly, but I like and love them.  I lucked out on the in-law thing, despite our political and religious differences.

And Indiana is beautiful.  It really is.  I had no idea.  It's lush and glorious, frogs chorus all night, there were ducks and swans on the lake.  I got to rescue a fledgling purple martin from the lake and take it back to what I was hopeful was it's home.  I can why it would be a good place to raise a family, although given all the Trump and anti-abortion signs I can also see why it would be a hard place to live too.

New:
Bit Boy graduated college in May (in 3 years, w/ honors - mama brag), moved into his own place in the big city an hour from here, and started a full on grown up job in June.  He's moving off our insurance, now I'm wondering when he can take his drum set with him. 

New:
Lego Kid graduated high school in May and will start engineering school in Aug.  I honestly didn't expect him to go into engineering, but I can see how if it works for him, he would be excellent at it.

New:
Hot Dog finished middle school in May and will be going to high school in the fall.  He continues on with his music and sports.  He's moved from being sure he was going to be lawyer to thinking he'll become a police officer, or join the military, or be a fireman, or maybe a scientist.  He's been focused on law since he was 8, so it's kind of a relief to see him being a kid.

Old:
We're still here, same home, Fire-Lord is still "retired" and working plenty of volunteer hours.  The garden still needs never ending work.  No family or close friend has died for a couple of years.  I kind of love that.

April and May Books

• The Book of Flora, by Meg Elison
• A Secret Rage, by Charlain Harris
• Day Shift, by Charlain Harris
• Night Shift, by Charlain Harris
• The Plague Tales, by Ann Benson
• The Heavens, by Sandra Newman
• Inside the Large Congregation, by Susan Beaumont
• Chocolat, by Joanne Harris
• Shadow of Night, by Deborah Harkness
• Team of Rivals, by Doris Kearns Goodwin
• Somebody I Used to Know, by Wendy Mitchell
• A Discovery of Witches, by Deborah Harkness
• Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi, by John Scalzi
• Expanse Series, by James S. A. Corey